Stafford for Sheriff?

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    Hi everyone! Welcome to the official Tommy Stafford for Sheriff site. The internets are cool aren’t they? Anyway, below is a reprint of what appeared in the April (Fools?) 2007 issue of Nelson County Life. Feel free to comment away, but be gentle. This politicking thing is new to me.

    Stafford for Sheriff

    I tried running for Sheriff years ago
    in an eight man race and came within
    a few hundred votes of actually winning
    it. I was 26 at the time.

    But I am much wiser now so I’m
    thinking about running again. My
    momma tells me I was just ahead of
    my time, bless my pea pickin’ heart.

    I had hired a consultant to advise
    me on my campaign. He told me I
    probably wouldn’t win and since he
    felt sorry for me, he didn’t charge me.

    He took one look at me and said,
    ‘Son. Can you grow any facial hair?’
    I grew my moustache but it wasn’t
    dark enough so they airbrushed it for
    the poster. The consultant also told
    me I needed to do something about
    my tasseled loafers.

    ‘Son, take off those sissy slippers
    and get you some lace up shoes!’

    I did and I still lost. I should have
    remained true to myself. I should
    have been more like Lt. Jim Dangle
    on Reno 911. He’s a hero of mine
    because he’s always been true to himself.
    If his way of protecting the citizens
    of Reno, Nevada is by wearing
    polyester shorts, then Amen brother!
    I do believe those shorts are 20%
    inspiration and 80 % perspiration.

    As Sheriff I would let turkeys
    drive truck drivers in cages. I would
    form a regional task force to fight
    the growing shoefiti epidemic (page
    38). And because I am a man with a
    compassionate heart, I will endorse
    the formation of a competitive knitting
    league. Though my wife tells me
    knitting is not a sport, I disagree.

    So I hope you remember me on
    Election Day. This year, I believe it
    falls on the second anniversary of this
    magazine, April 1, 2007. Visit TommyStafford.
    com for more info.

    My name is Tommy Stafford and I
    approve this message.

    7 COMMENTS

    1. Ok, Ok, got the shoes right; don’t even THINK about those shorts, oh . . . and loose the geeky glasses. 🙂

    2. I say to Tommy, go for it! We need a candidate who seems to knows what he wants to do undisirregardless of (a) the consequences, and (b) how in the world he can possibly win. If he continues, he needs to tell the County why, really why, he thinks he can Sheriff Nelson County. I am sure he can!
      I am especially interested in his control of Turkey Trucks, and even more regarding “Jake Brakes,” aka engine brakes which are not outlawed in Nelson County, but should be, especially on US 29 just north of the Wayside and on US 29 at the “Gap” north of Lovingston. This is a REAL issue, Tommy, GO FOR IT!

    3. We think Tommy would make a great Sheriff! Yes, lose the glasses & plug in a current photo. We also think “Da Bombdiggity” would make a great deputy. That beagle’s always on the job; she really has a nose for crime. We think Nelson County squad cars should be jeeps! Good Luck, we’re rooting for you.
      R&S

    4. -There seems to be a pattern here, lose the glasses seems to be the concensus!

      -Believe me, I know as well as anyone along 151 about those turkey truck and jake brakes! Starts about 3:30 in the morning. They wake up from the side of the interstate from sleeping and then begin running 151 to 6. I have clocked them at over 75 MPH that time of the morning. They know none of thhe troopers are on duty so they let it haul. No enforcement at the weigh station near old Rockfish either, and if it is it’s the poor old fellow from Blur Ridge Builders trying to make a delivery, not the 60 foot semi – or even the tandem rigs we have seen at night!

      -I like Rick & Sarah’s idea of deputy dog, they have a nose you are right…maybe they’d wear the goofy glasses!

    5. Unbelieveable, fan mail! Yes, believe it or not someone from over at Staunton wrote in to us.

      Majorie Grewe wrote:

      “I wish you good luck on your upcoming election for sheriff. I’m 75 years old & retired from Baltimore County, MD sheriff’s office, 22 years Also as Secretary of Md State Sheriff’s Association, 20 years….. I am first woman deputy in Baltimore County, MD. Let me know if you win! Good luck, God Bless,
      Majorie”

      Wow, thanks for the greetings Majorie, word travels fast since our elections was on “April 1, 2007”

      I’ll have to upload the picture of me as a deputy loong before the days when I was running for sheriff, pretty funnly to look back at them now!

      -T-

    6. […] Nelson County Life Magazine :: Stafford for Sheriff? As Sheriff I would let turkeys drive truck drivers in cages. I would form a regional task force to fight the growing shoefiti epidemic (page 38). And because I am a man with a compassionate heart, I will endorse the formation of a competitive knitting league. Though my wife tells me knitting is not a sport, I disagree. […]

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