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Stafford for Sheriff?

[ 7 ] March 29, 2007 |

Hi everyone! Welcome to the official Tommy Stafford for Sheriff site. The internets are cool aren’t they? Anyway, below is a reprint of what appeared in the April (Fools?) 2007 issue of Nelson County Life. Feel free to comment away, but be gentle. This politicking thing is new to me.

Stafford for Sheriff

I tried running for Sheriff years ago
in an eight man race and came within
a few hundred votes of actually winning
it. I was 26 at the time.

But I am much wiser now so I’m
thinking about running again. My
momma tells me I was just ahead of
my time, bless my pea pickin’ heart.

I had hired a consultant to advise
me on my campaign. He told me I
probably wouldn’t win and since he
felt sorry for me, he didn’t charge me.

He took one look at me and said,
‘Son. Can you grow any facial hair?’
I grew my moustache but it wasn’t
dark enough so they airbrushed it for
the poster. The consultant also told
me I needed to do something about
my tasseled loafers.

‘Son, take off those sissy slippers
and get you some lace up shoes!’

I did and I still lost. I should have
remained true to myself. I should
have been more like Lt. Jim Dangle
on Reno 911. He’s a hero of mine
because he’s always been true to himself.
If his way of protecting the citizens
of Reno, Nevada is by wearing
polyester shorts, then Amen brother!
I do believe those shorts are 20%
inspiration and 80 % perspiration.

As Sheriff I would let turkeys
drive truck drivers in cages. I would
form a regional task force to fight
the growing shoefiti epidemic (page
38). And because I am a man with a
compassionate heart, I will endorse
the formation of a competitive knitting
league. Though my wife tells me
knitting is not a sport, I disagree.

So I hope you remember me on
Election Day. This year, I believe it
falls on the second anniversary of this
magazine, April 1, 2007. Visit TommyStafford.
com for more info.

My name is Tommy Stafford and I
approve this message.

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Comments (7)

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  1. Greg Heuer says:

    Ok, Ok, got the shoes right; don’t even THINK about those shorts, oh . . . and loose the geeky glasses. 🙂

  2. Chuck Strauss says:

    I say to Tommy, go for it! We need a candidate who seems to knows what he wants to do undisirregardless of (a) the consequences, and (b) how in the world he can possibly win. If he continues, he needs to tell the County why, really why, he thinks he can Sheriff Nelson County. I am sure he can!
    I am especially interested in his control of Turkey Trucks, and even more regarding “Jake Brakes,” aka engine brakes which are not outlawed in Nelson County, but should be, especially on US 29 just north of the Wayside and on US 29 at the “Gap” north of Lovingston. This is a REAL issue, Tommy, GO FOR IT!

  3. We think Tommy would make a great Sheriff! Yes, lose the glasses & plug in a current photo. We also think “Da Bombdiggity” would make a great deputy. That beagle’s always on the job; she really has a nose for crime. We think Nelson County squad cars should be jeeps! Good Luck, we’re rooting for you.
    R&S

  4. Tommy says:

    -There seems to be a pattern here, lose the glasses seems to be the concensus!

    -Believe me, I know as well as anyone along 151 about those turkey truck and jake brakes! Starts about 3:30 in the morning. They wake up from the side of the interstate from sleeping and then begin running 151 to 6. I have clocked them at over 75 MPH that time of the morning. They know none of thhe troopers are on duty so they let it haul. No enforcement at the weigh station near old Rockfish either, and if it is it’s the poor old fellow from Blur Ridge Builders trying to make a delivery, not the 60 foot semi – or even the tandem rigs we have seen at night!

    -I like Rick & Sarah’s idea of deputy dog, they have a nose you are right…maybe they’d wear the goofy glasses!

  5. Tommy says:

    Unbelieveable, fan mail! Yes, believe it or not someone from over at Staunton wrote in to us.

    Majorie Grewe wrote:

    “I wish you good luck on your upcoming election for sheriff. I’m 75 years old & retired from Baltimore County, MD sheriff’s office, 22 years Also as Secretary of Md State Sheriff’s Association, 20 years….. I am first woman deputy in Baltimore County, MD. Let me know if you win! Good luck, God Bless,
    Majorie”

    Wow, thanks for the greetings Majorie, word travels fast since our elections was on “April 1, 2007”

    I’ll have to upload the picture of me as a deputy loong before the days when I was running for sheriff, pretty funnly to look back at them now!

    -T-

  6. […] RHOP fundraiser @ Spruce CreekGreg & Linda Heuer on Some snow tonight & cold continues Tommy on Stafford for Sheriff?Tommy on BIG Weather Changes on the way !Tommy on Stafford for Sheriff? Sunday, April 15, […]

  7. […] Nelson County Life Magazine :: Stafford for Sheriff? As Sheriff I would let turkeys drive truck drivers in cages. I would form a regional task force to fight the growing shoefiti epidemic (page 38). And because I am a man with a compassionate heart, I will endorse the formation of a competitive knitting league. Though my wife tells me knitting is not a sport, I disagree. […]

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